Traveling Wisecracks, Sports Gear Snags, and Mahomes' Chilly Challenge
Jan 28, 2024Season 2Episode 19
Matt and Jesse
Ever wondered if a pun on a highway sign could actually make your drive safer? Buckle up as we navigate the debate sparked by a new federal manual that puts the brakes on highway hilarity, putting forth a 1100-page argument against those memorable electronic messages that tickle our funny bones. We're not just talking safety signs—we're engaging in a full-on discussion about the charm of road trip chuckles versus the government's concerns about driver distraction. Through the lens of both joy and practicality, we scrutinize the notion that perhaps, just perhaps, a sprinkle of wit on our journeys is the secret ingredient for keeping drivers alert and entertained.
Shift gears with us as we recount the amusing yet chilly plight of NFL quarterback Patrick Mahomes when his helmet couldn't take the freeze. It's not all fun and games; after all, sports safety is a serious ballgame, but we can't help crack a smile at the unexpected quirks of athletic life. With no guest to intercept, we solo tackle the convergence of high-tech sports gear and the prowess of a player like Mahomes, all served with a side of our staple humor. From discussing the role of helmet tech in safeguarding our sports heroes to appreciating the lighter, more human moments of the game, this episode is your ticket to a thoughtful chuckle and a fresh perspective on the peculiarities that pepper the world of sports and transport.
Ever wondered if a pun on a highway sign could actually make your drive safer? Buckle up as we navigate the debate sparked by a new federal manual that puts the brakes on highway hilarity, putting forth a 1100-page argument against those memorable electronic messages that tickle our funny bones. We're not just talking safety signs—we're engaging in a full-on discussion about the charm of road trip chuckles versus the government's concerns about driver distraction. Through the lens of both joy and practicality, we scrutinize the notion that perhaps, just perhaps, a sprinkle of wit on our journeys is the secret ingredient for keeping drivers alert and entertained.
Shift gears with us as we recount the amusing yet chilly plight of NFL quarterback Patrick Mahomes when his helmet couldn't take the freeze. It's not all fun and games; after all, sports safety is a serious ballgame, but we can't help crack a smile at the unexpected quirks of athletic life. With no guest to intercept, we solo tackle the convergence of high-tech sports gear and the prowess of a player like Mahomes, all served with a side of our staple humor. From discussing the role of helmet tech in safeguarding our sports heroes to appreciating the lighter, more human moments of the game, this episode is your ticket to a thoughtful chuckle and a fresh perspective on the peculiarities that pepper the world of sports and transport.
Speaker 1:
You know the kid who thinks he knows it all right, and he's like well, I got that some time and he's right.
Speaker 2:
but he's right, see, technically Santa wouldn't exist and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:
I feel like that's one of those guys who made up an 1100 page manual on why jokes shouldn't be on the highway.
Speaker 3:
Oh no, the next article says no joke. Should I be serious about it?
Speaker 1:
Well, it's telling you not to joke about it.
Speaker 3:
So maybe this is going to be very, very hard for me Very.
Speaker 1:
are you a joking guy?
Speaker 3:
You know, I am.
Speaker 1:
Are you a joke kind of guy I?
Speaker 3:
joke about the grass being green.
Speaker 1:
If the listeners have listened to us for a while, you think they would think we were funny.
Speaker 3:
Me for sure.
Speaker 1:
No, you're definitely not funny. I'm one that's funny.
Speaker 3:
Really. Yeah, do you want to contest this? Yeah, yeah, hey, y'all listeners, give us some feedback.
Speaker 1:
I'm going to put a voting poll on Twitter.
Speaker 3:
Put a voting poll. We will make a poll on it.
Speaker 1:
Oh, it's not Twitter anymore, it's X Twitter Twitter. Right, it's X, x. It's called X now.
Speaker 3:
Why the heck would they change?
Speaker 1:
it from Twitter to X, I don't know. Okay, it's because most of the stuff on Twitter was toxic. Anyway, you're toxic too, but I mean, hey, my toxicity is not there, your toxicity is very little. Mine's very healthy for you. Mine's very healthy. Toxicity it's that medicine that you don't want to take, but you know it's going to make you better in the end.
Speaker 3:
That's my kind of toxicity, I think I'd still avoid that medicine.
Speaker 1:
That's me. Whether you take it, it's not up to you. Sometimes I force it down your throat, all right. What is this saying? What have we got going on?
Speaker 3:
No joke, feds discourage humorous electronic messages on highways.
Speaker 1:
Well, that's no fun.
Speaker 3:
What kind of that's no fun. Yes.
Speaker 2:
I want my jokes.
Speaker 3:
Lame person wants to do this.
Speaker 1:
I don't know, but the only reason why I drove by those signs sometimes was to see those jokes. Come on man.
Speaker 3:
That's why I use the roads Okay.
Speaker 1:
This is discouraging. All right, phoenix.
Speaker 3:
Phoenix, arizona. It's no joke, a federal agency is discouraging humorous and quirky messages that could distract or confuse drivers on highways and freeways across the country.
Speaker 1:
Good way. Yeah, it's no wonder this is Phoenix.
Speaker 3:
I've been more distracted by looking for house address. You know who else I'd picture would do this is Michigan.
Speaker 1:
Michigan would do this, and I feel like Phoenix would do this, apparently Colorado too, and then Colorado would do this. This is ridiculous.
Speaker 3:
Phoenix is falling, not rising.
Speaker 1:
The Phoenix is frozen, frozen, yeah, the.
Speaker 3:
Phoenix is freaking frozen now.
Speaker 1:
All right.
Speaker 3:
What else is going on? The federal highway administration recently released and updated 1100 page manual that spells out how signs and other traffic control devices are regulated.
Speaker 1:
That sounds like one of those nerds you know, like, okay, have you seen the polar express?
Speaker 2:
You know the kid who thinks he knows it all right, and he's like Well, I got that and he's like, but he's right, see, technically Santa wouldn't exist and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:
I feel like that's one of those guys who made up an 1100 page manual on why jokes shouldn't be on the highway.
Speaker 3:
That's a very, very sad nerd.
Speaker 1:
It's got to be the most narcissistic dude I've ever. Bro didn't have a childhood who makes up an 1100 page manual. He doesn't have a pet either I'm assuming now it does say how signs and traffic devices too. So there's a bunch of other stuff in it. But in other words, they're using this as a way to an excuse.
Speaker 3:
Yeah in it. The agency strongly recommends against overhead electronic signs with obscure meanings, references to pop culture or those intended to be funny. Rather, sign should be simple, direct, brief, legible and clear when relaying important information, like warning drivers of crashes overhead, adverse weather conditions and traffic days. You know.
Speaker 1:
I agency said you know I disagree with all this already.
Speaker 3:
It's boring and it makes traffic work.
Speaker 1:
I don't read those signs. I Don't read those signs. If you're talking about the simple direct signs, hey, this crash warning blob this like. I may look at them for a second. But I'll tell you right now I'm not even focused on those not me either. The signs that have a joke on them that are funny. Those are the signs I pay attention to, so I disagree a hundred percent with what they're doing right here, these, these stupid like.
Speaker 3:
I'm singing in a sarcastic voice.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, this sounds like. Hey, let's make everybody fall in line and follow our orders.
Speaker 3:
They're trying to make a sheet literally.
Speaker 1:
It's not, it's not gonna work. Nobody pays attention like if it's a serious sign. No, this is the funny part, though, if you ever watch drivers on the road and nobody pays attention to the serious stuff, except for when there's flashing lights, and even then people don't pay attention to that when traffic's backed up. People just want to know what happened. That's it. They don't read those signs.
Speaker 3:
They're craning their neck out their window trying to see a head at least with a joke.
Speaker 1:
You could make these jokers chuckle a little bit, and then they might actually read the sign While you're driving by it because with a joke don't you remember it more.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, because you're like all that was kind of fun.
Speaker 1:
I'm more memorable, I think yes, and I think it makes the road trips more fun. This is somebody who talk about a plane drive. This is somebody oh.
Speaker 3:
I went down the highway and got to my destiny.
Speaker 1:
Whoever's saying this doesn't travel and they don't travel with a family. They don't have kids. They obviously don't have kids.
Speaker 3:
They don't have fun.
Speaker 1:
They don't have anything that resembles Any kind of safe travel, because when you're traveling with a family, you want to have fun. And you follow more rules when it's funny. I just I disagree 100% on this one.
Speaker 3:
Oh, but seat belt reminders and warnings about the dangers of speeding or driving impaired are allowed.
Speaker 2:
Hmm, they had to specify there about that.
Speaker 1:
Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, that's loud.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, cuz it's another serious thing Nobody pays attention to. When's the last time you got it? When you paid attention to a seat belt reminder?
Speaker 3:
I don't know anybody in my circle that cares about seat belts I Want to put it on just to not hear that now?
Speaker 1:
disclaimer we all wear our seat belts, don't get us wrong, but there's nobody around us that I know that's gonna be like. So serious about seat belts that like, if you don't remit, if you don't read those reminders on the highway, you're gonna die.
Speaker 3:
Nobody, nobody reminders we need her in the car. Yeah, nobody cares.
Speaker 1:
This is the stupidest thing ever. I don't understand this. I would rather have quirky messages, and look, there's gonna be four more paragraphs on how quirky messages distract drivers.
Speaker 3:
Give me a break states around the country have used quirky messaging to draw the attention of drivers. Among them, use y'all blinker, see I love that.
Speaker 1:
I love that.
Speaker 3:
Are you kidding?
Speaker 1:
There's nothing wrong with that and it definitely tells you what to do use your blinker. Like yeah, stop messing around. Like and it's funny now If you just say, please Use your flash sheet and blinker On the side of the road, I'm not gonna look at that. No, no one's gonna care. But these guys are genius that make these funny messages visiting in laws.
Speaker 3:
Slow down, get there late, yes, drive.
Speaker 1:
Star-spangled hammered love that, love. That's kind of quirky, kind of funny.
Speaker 3:
Okay, it's focused. Drive with focus. That's a good one from.
Speaker 1:
Nussy. Everybody I know grew up with hocus pocus. They would love that.
Speaker 3:
Are you kidding me? And hands on the wheel, not your meal from Arizona. Hold up Phoenix, really. I mean this.
Speaker 1:
Arizona, yeah like don't take away it, bro. I really, again, I have nothing more to say to this article. I don't know about you. You want to quit it? Yeah, I have nothing more to say to this. This is, this is the stupidest thing ever.
Speaker 3:
Well, hold on there. Let me read this for fast. There is a representative apparently says the humor part of it we kind of like said rep. State rep David Cook, a Republican from Globe oh Phoenix, told Phoenix TV station CB5. I think in Arizona the majority of us do, if not all of us. He said he doesn't understand the fuss exactly.
Speaker 1:
Exactly. Even state officials are like don't do this. This makes you sound like a narcissistic nerd who wants to like Basically communism, everything and make everything serious. I think people just take life too seriously and I think I think all of us in the states, if not the whole world, would have more fun if we took it less seriously. Well, yeah like this is crazy. All right, yeah, that's it. I'm done with that.
Speaker 3:
I don't need to see anymore.
Speaker 1:
I don't see and I don't need to see anymore. I disagree 100%, and you do too, so I I Know hey, turn on your blanket. No, right, so we talked about that. I do love talking about funny stuff. We could talk about one serious thing. This is something that happened last week.
Speaker 3:
Do I have to be serious? No, of course not, I can't, I can't do it, man, I just, you don't have to be serious if you can make not entirely, at least if you can make Everything in life funny.
Speaker 1:
now, one thing that's not funny but it is kind of funny, I Uh is concussions, and concussions are not funny, but to joke, to joke about banging your head off the side of a wall is kind of funny. Um it's not funny, but it is.
Speaker 3:
With dealing with it and you're like dude, you okay.
Speaker 1:
No, I'm not, Listen, we've. The reason why I'm laughing is because we've all injured ourselves in one way or another and we know, we know the consequences of our injuries. We do it anyway. All right that every day sir these guys get paid to do it. Uh, patrick Mahomes helmet shatter during last week's playoff game shattered. The manufacturer says it, quote unquote did its job. Now what does he refer to?
Speaker 2:
It did his job.
Speaker 1:
What do you mean? It did his job. What? What happened? So they got pictures of Patrick Mahomes here. This is who he is, in case you didn't know. He's the one is quarterback is the quarterback of the Kansas city chiefs, is also one of the best quarterbacks, which I hate because he's really good.
Speaker 1:
So any teams that you like, he destroys your hopes sometimes um because he's really good, like he could be being tackled and he get to the like he would throw the ball and get it perfectly to where he wants it to go, while being tackled or, like you know, smashed into the ground.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, because no matter what you do, even if you tackle this guy, he still gets the ball where he needs to get it to go. So really yeah, he's that good and he's got a gift. The manufacturer of the helmet that chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes shattered during their AFC wildcard game with Miami says it did its job quote unquote by protecting the league MVP during a head to head impact. Well, I didn't know. It was head to head. That's brutal In unprecedented cold temperatures.
Speaker 1:
The game Saturday night, saturday night was the fourth coldest game in NFL history. The temperature at kickoff was minus four degrees Fahrenheit and the winds, gusting to more than 25 miles an hour, made the wind chill approach a minus 30 during the game. So very cold game. I don't know if I'd be able to play. Extreme conditions like those are bound to test the limits of even the highest performing products Products, certain sports, which makes the vicious zero to helmet that Mahomes was wearing said in a statement Wednesday Okay, mahomes, I don't have a picture of the helmet. I wish we could see a picture of the helmet.
Speaker 3:
Did you read that yet?
Speaker 1:
No, not specifics yet Hold on. Mahomes was scrambling toward the end zone in the second half of the chiefs I don't think I saw this because I did watch that game, but I didn't see this part of 26 to seven victory. When he was hit by Dolphin safety DeSean Elliott, their helmets clashed so it was head to head and, likely because of the extreme cold, made the outer shell brittle. A fist size chunk went flying from my home's helmet just above the face mask covered covering his left eye. Okay, so in like the whole thing.
Speaker 3:
No, it wasn't the whole thing.
Speaker 1:
No, it wasn't the whole thing, it was just like a chunk of it, so maybe they're just making out a shadow ring that's splintering. Yeah, like if anything. I mean it does sound like that it did crack. I think, yeah, it sounds like. It sounds like it did his job, even though it was like a chunk of it. Let me see. Do they have a picture of it?
Speaker 3:
They have these other pictures but you don't want to know that's him.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, they're not showing it. I would have liked to see in a chunk of the helmet. Yeah, they have pictures, but they don't have like the picture of the helmet Would have liked to see in the helmet. Basically it goes into the helmet technology and what it's supposed to do it's in her stiff shell, wrapped around plastic. That sounds super durable. Engineered to absorb and disperse energy at the point of impact. So basically it did, is I guess it does job and we only see like like a portion of his helmet got shattered.
Speaker 3:
But I want you to know about this guy. So what Do you know?
Speaker 1:
my homes, I don't know stats, but I know that he's really good and I've seen him play. He's ridiculous and it's not. This is like the first time in a long time he's ever had helmet to helmet contact with anybody. So but I guarantee if the helmet wasn't there, we'd probably be looking at two major concussions right now.
Speaker 3:
The other day would bigger.
Speaker 1:
They're probably like they might have been around the same size. I don't know what Elliott Deshaun looks like.
Speaker 1:
Impact tremors they're pretty big guys, so yeah, I don't know, but as far as that, you won't see me playing out negative 30 degrees, that's for sure. Come on, you know, you want to Well, they paid me millions of dollars, maybe like they pay Patrick Holmes. I mean, yeah, you get paid millions of dollars. You might want to be out in the cold playing anywhere that kind of money. I think you would. I think if you got paid millions of dollars to play anywhere you probably would, where you play or yeah, I mean I understand below freezing, I guess we do have the rest of the playoffs coming up.
Speaker 1:
Maybe, maybe we'll maybe we'll see some more shattered helmets, who knows?
Speaker 3:
Put some thermals in them. Uniform like that. That's a lot of money, dude.
Speaker 1:
One funny idea I had was they do have this thing where they mic up the players. Sometimes they have like mics on the players so you can hear what they're saying, and for extra shows they'll have like then we'll have it on main TV but they'll have like behind the scenes extra shows on what they say during the game. It is hilarious. If you have never heard what mic'd up players sound like during a football game, it is one of the funniest things ever. I think they should turn it into like a full scale reality show.
Speaker 3:
I think they should have snow suits one snow suit and one regular suit.
Speaker 1:
What's up with that? Well, and I think so too. Okay, so here's the problem. We were watching a game last week and, just like what you were talking about, they had this game where it was cold but the players didn't wear their gear, like they still went out with the t-shirts and they got hypothermia. The why wouldn't they wear their gear? They got plenty of under armor and stuff to wear. Half of more than half of them didn't have any of the gear on, like the long sleeves or anything, are they losing themselves?
Speaker 2:
And then?
Speaker 1:
they had an article the following week or news report of them getting hypothermia. Well, no wonder you got hypothermia.
Speaker 3:
You didn't wear the gear you had and wear what you're supposed to.
Speaker 1:
So if they did have a snow suit, like an under armor, snow thermal thing, whatever, you'd have to make the players wear it, because sometimes they do not.
Speaker 3:
I'd be asking her to make me a uniform. Like an official car Now that would be a crazy Call body, that would be a suit, you know that would be hilarious, that'd be great. You think about it. Just can you imagine the whole team run around and Bro new show idea Carhartt football. Carhartt football. Hey, you heard it first year on WWE Carhartt football.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, Don't you go out there and license that? That is our idea. Carhartt football Right, that would be harder too, because you'd have that weight on you. It would be way more challenging. I think they should do that for one of the survival case. Carhartt football. Break that down on our ideal yeah we're going to put that on the show itinerary.
Speaker 3:
Carhartt football the wazoo dude.
Speaker 1:
All right. Well, that's all we got for today. We'll see you next time on the WWE.
Speaker 3:
Thank you for being weird.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for being weird. Also, remember to check us out on IG and Facebook. World World variety with Matt and Jesse. If you've got ideas for the show, please message them to us and we'll try to get them on the show.
Speaker 3:
Maybe we should say don't message us.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, leave us alone, don't. Yeah, don't message us. All right, guys Later, all right.
Speaker 2:
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.